It's fucking suspect to hate for no reason other than to hate. I hate everyday. I admit that. Yet I also tell the people I hate that I can't stand them and the reason why. If they can't take a fucking hint the size of a brick, is it my fault? Not at all.
You just prove to me everyday why you don't have any friends. You just prove to me everyday that you are fucking ugly. Inside, outside, mentally, spiritually. Whatever your choice is, you're just plain and simply ugly to the core. I DON'T CARE HOW LOVELY YOU SEEM TO BE TO OTHERS! I DON'T CARE HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY TELL YOU, YOU ARE! I DON'T CARE HOW AWESOME YOU ARE TO A CERTAIN FEW! Everything you do annoys me. You're voice is irritating and worse of all I CAN'T STAND THE FAMILY YOU'VE CREATED IN YOUR IMAGE!
You want to act like a God, then learn to live without prejudice and live with forgiveness and honor. You are sickening and I'm completely done with you. You're worse than a criminal will ever be.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Egypt Central "Leap of Faith"
Now everything inside my life’s become a mystery
And all the things that I’ve held dear have lost reality
I cannot go I do not know if you are really here
Just let me know
I need a friend to depend on
I need so much more
Another reason to live my life is knocking on my door
I need to know if I can go
All the way down and back again
I need to know if I can take another leap of faith today
Someone tell me so I can figure it out
Something’s wrong nothing’s right
My life is filled with doubt
Lost the only really thing I’ve ever known
Lost it all and now my hope is gone
I need a friend to depend on
I need so much more
Another reason to live my life is knocking on my door
I need to know if I can go
All the way down and back again
I need to know if I can take another leap of faith today
And all the things that I’ve held dear have lost reality
I cannot go I do not know if you are really here
Just let me know
I need a friend to depend on
I need so much more
Another reason to live my life is knocking on my door
I need to know if I can go
All the way down and back again
I need to know if I can take another leap of faith today
Someone tell me so I can figure it out
Something’s wrong nothing’s right
My life is filled with doubt
Lost the only really thing I’ve ever known
Lost it all and now my hope is gone
I need a friend to depend on
I need so much more
Another reason to live my life is knocking on my door
I need to know if I can go
All the way down and back again
I need to know if I can take another leap of faith today
Random THOUGHTS at 2.A.M.
"We Walk Alone, In The Unknown. We Live To Win Another Victory. We Are The Young, Dying Sons. We Live To Change The Face of History. - Don't Be Afraid, It's The Price We Pay. The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday." - 12 Stones 'We Are One'
I have no one to walk alone with. I'm on my own. Standing against a crowd of faceless people. Those faceless many are called Family. Cowards that'll stab you in the spine and laugh in your face about it. I'd like to think that when I'm dead and gone, that everything will be better... IT WONT. If Heaven is really how it's explained to us as children, then I'll just be sent to a place where all of them are. Waiting with knives like vultures ready for the fresh kill. Tired of the same old taste they've become accustomed too.
If I had the chance to face all my demons, I would love to imagine that I'd be the last one standing. Conquering every lie I've said, overcoming every picture I've painted and drawn to make it real who I want you to believe I am. However I just think that mountain is too big and every cave there is filled with something ready to devour every part of me that isn't already there.
If I could I'd smoke a pack of cigarettes now and drink a gallon of coffee and hope that my medical problems didn't exist. I understand all too well that I do this to myself. I'm aware that nothing I think I should do matters, until I WANT to do something differently. I understand all too well that I'm the only one that can change the things that I hate. Which is funny, because all the things I hate I've surrounded myself with.
I sometimes drift off into thoughts and daydreams. All lies that only get me through the day that I dread. TODAY! Tomorrow. Next week and next year. It's all the same to me. Just one big blur of something called time. Which doesn't exist. It's only a word used for brain control propaganda. Am I insane? Probably. However your normalcy is fleeting and my insanity is forever.
Why do I believe that? It's really simple. REALLY! It's because, My insanity knows no bounds. I'm stuck with this gift you call a curse. I'm perfectly fine hearing voices and seeing things that you can't or don't understand. Or possibly it's just that your educated mind isn't what you'd imagined it should be.
However I'll get off the subject that is YOU and get onto my final words. Hopefully of wisdom or just full of shit. You decide that for yourself and hell, for me as well.
If you get baked, you destroy your mind, If you get drunk, you kill yourself slowly. I don't do the former, but the latter... And yes, I do enjoy it. I enjoy the fact that I kill myself... Slowly.
I have no one to walk alone with. I'm on my own. Standing against a crowd of faceless people. Those faceless many are called Family. Cowards that'll stab you in the spine and laugh in your face about it. I'd like to think that when I'm dead and gone, that everything will be better... IT WONT. If Heaven is really how it's explained to us as children, then I'll just be sent to a place where all of them are. Waiting with knives like vultures ready for the fresh kill. Tired of the same old taste they've become accustomed too.
If I had the chance to face all my demons, I would love to imagine that I'd be the last one standing. Conquering every lie I've said, overcoming every picture I've painted and drawn to make it real who I want you to believe I am. However I just think that mountain is too big and every cave there is filled with something ready to devour every part of me that isn't already there.
If I could I'd smoke a pack of cigarettes now and drink a gallon of coffee and hope that my medical problems didn't exist. I understand all too well that I do this to myself. I'm aware that nothing I think I should do matters, until I WANT to do something differently. I understand all too well that I'm the only one that can change the things that I hate. Which is funny, because all the things I hate I've surrounded myself with.
I sometimes drift off into thoughts and daydreams. All lies that only get me through the day that I dread. TODAY! Tomorrow. Next week and next year. It's all the same to me. Just one big blur of something called time. Which doesn't exist. It's only a word used for brain control propaganda. Am I insane? Probably. However your normalcy is fleeting and my insanity is forever.
Why do I believe that? It's really simple. REALLY! It's because, My insanity knows no bounds. I'm stuck with this gift you call a curse. I'm perfectly fine hearing voices and seeing things that you can't or don't understand. Or possibly it's just that your educated mind isn't what you'd imagined it should be.
However I'll get off the subject that is YOU and get onto my final words. Hopefully of wisdom or just full of shit. You decide that for yourself and hell, for me as well.
If you get baked, you destroy your mind, If you get drunk, you kill yourself slowly. I don't do the former, but the latter... And yes, I do enjoy it. I enjoy the fact that I kill myself... Slowly.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
All that YOU need to hear, but won't listen too...
I've thought about things I need to change, things I need to say and things that I've got to get out of my fucking head. And at the end of the day I'm just an asshole. Not sarcastic at all. Just blatantly an asshole. So here it goes...
You're lazy, extremely stubborn and just yell at everyone for no reason.
You hate when someone else is right, yet you'll never admit when you're wrong.
You easily forget how simple things are because you overanalyze everything to the smallest detail.
You want everything perfect, yet you can't even organize your own life - and that upsets you even more.
If you lived a million miles away, you'd still be miserable. At least you'd be away from the people and situations you want so desperately to get away from.
You laugh, you smile, you share everything and yet nothing all at once. No one know's who you really are.
Sometimes I like to dream that my life was different and then I realize, no matter where I am, who I am and what the situation is... I'm always going to be me, you'll always be you and somewhere we'd meet and nothing would have changed. Why bother?
Jack Daniels is one hell of a drug. At least I haven't spent all my money on it like I make you all believe I have.
Video games don't cure depression. They just momentarily cure you of boredom and make you forget your goddamn life for an hour at the most. Because when you turn it off and set that controller down... Everything around is still that mess you left yesterday, last week, last month, last year - it's always going to be there until you do something about it.
----
Signing off now, that asshole who loves Coffee, Cigarettes and now most commonly - WHISKEY.
You're lazy, extremely stubborn and just yell at everyone for no reason.
You hate when someone else is right, yet you'll never admit when you're wrong.
You easily forget how simple things are because you overanalyze everything to the smallest detail.
You want everything perfect, yet you can't even organize your own life - and that upsets you even more.
If you lived a million miles away, you'd still be miserable. At least you'd be away from the people and situations you want so desperately to get away from.
You laugh, you smile, you share everything and yet nothing all at once. No one know's who you really are.
Sometimes I like to dream that my life was different and then I realize, no matter where I am, who I am and what the situation is... I'm always going to be me, you'll always be you and somewhere we'd meet and nothing would have changed. Why bother?
Jack Daniels is one hell of a drug. At least I haven't spent all my money on it like I make you all believe I have.
Video games don't cure depression. They just momentarily cure you of boredom and make you forget your goddamn life for an hour at the most. Because when you turn it off and set that controller down... Everything around is still that mess you left yesterday, last week, last month, last year - it's always going to be there until you do something about it.
----
Signing off now, that asshole who loves Coffee, Cigarettes and now most commonly - WHISKEY.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Anna
Tell me again why you're running away - do you need me?
Nobody's home and there's nowhere to stay - do you believe me?
Maybe I can't be the man of your dreams - but I can save you
You were never really gone and it seems that you can feel it too
We won't see the stars if the sun is in our eyes... so don't look so surprised
Because it's just another reason why a fool like you
Would listen to a fool like me
I'll do what all the idiots around you do
And show you that you'll never be free
You're not supposed to feel this wright
One is always better if you can't have two
Now that I have nothing while can't have you
You left me once - don't you leave me twice
Cuz no one is alone - no one is alone
Tell me again how I'm on your mind - you're always on mine
Tell me it's really just a matter of time - and I'll believe a lie
I can't see the sun because your stars are in my eyes... so don't look so surprised
Because it's just another reason why a fool like you
Would listen to a fool like me
I'll do what all the idiots around you do
And show you that you'll never be free
You're not supposed to feel this wright
One is always better if you can't have two
Now that I have nothing while I can't have you
You left me once - don't you leave me twice
Cuz no one is alone - no one is alone
Oh what am I gonna do - you feel so wright
Nothing is forever if it can't be true
Now that I am nothing I have to have you
You loved me once - you better love me twice
Cuz no one is alone - no one is alone
Tell me again why you're running away - do you need me?
Nobody's home and there's nowhere to stay...
Nobody's home and there's nowhere to stay - do you believe me?
Maybe I can't be the man of your dreams - but I can save you
You were never really gone and it seems that you can feel it too
We won't see the stars if the sun is in our eyes... so don't look so surprised
Because it's just another reason why a fool like you
Would listen to a fool like me
I'll do what all the idiots around you do
And show you that you'll never be free
You're not supposed to feel this wright
One is always better if you can't have two
Now that I have nothing while can't have you
You left me once - don't you leave me twice
Cuz no one is alone - no one is alone
Tell me again how I'm on your mind - you're always on mine
Tell me it's really just a matter of time - and I'll believe a lie
I can't see the sun because your stars are in my eyes... so don't look so surprised
Because it's just another reason why a fool like you
Would listen to a fool like me
I'll do what all the idiots around you do
And show you that you'll never be free
You're not supposed to feel this wright
One is always better if you can't have two
Now that I have nothing while I can't have you
You left me once - don't you leave me twice
Cuz no one is alone - no one is alone
Oh what am I gonna do - you feel so wright
Nothing is forever if it can't be true
Now that I am nothing I have to have you
You loved me once - you better love me twice
Cuz no one is alone - no one is alone
Tell me again why you're running away - do you need me?
Nobody's home and there's nowhere to stay...
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Crazy, Insane, Off The Chain...
How even you want to say it I am what I am and not even those words that allude to my mental being can explain a damn thing about who the hell I AM.
I've made mistakes, I've made enemies.
I've burned bridges and looked back in anger.
I've forgotten details, I've made things up on the spot.
I've given false hope and given a shoulder to cry on.
I've done it all, however I've not given a damn to think about myself.
You can say that lying was about myself, and truth it... It wasn't.
If I said something to make you feel better, it was for your benefit.
Was it for my benefit that I gave up on myself?
Probably not, but did it help me forget other BS? Yes it did.
Do I regret the things I've said and done?
Not one of them, not at all, not now and not ever.
Selfish as that may be, I know you've done some wrong as well.
Demanding everything of someone you wouldn't give a second too, hmm how does that sound?
Sounds like suffering, but then again, what am I suppose to know of that?
All I know is, the wah-wah-wah train left your station.
I jsut hope you;re not dead by now.
Because it would all be for nothing if you were to just take the easy way out.
However if you have, bon voyage... Bitch.
Some people call me crazy, some say insane, off the chain...
No matter how you word it, it'll never be enough to explain...
Why I am the Way I am... But in the end all that matters is...
I AM WHO THE HELL I AM!
I've made mistakes, I've made enemies.
I've burned bridges and looked back in anger.
I've forgotten details, I've made things up on the spot.
I've given false hope and given a shoulder to cry on.
I've done it all, however I've not given a damn to think about myself.
You can say that lying was about myself, and truth it... It wasn't.
If I said something to make you feel better, it was for your benefit.
Was it for my benefit that I gave up on myself?
Probably not, but did it help me forget other BS? Yes it did.
Do I regret the things I've said and done?
Not one of them, not at all, not now and not ever.
Selfish as that may be, I know you've done some wrong as well.
Demanding everything of someone you wouldn't give a second too, hmm how does that sound?
Sounds like suffering, but then again, what am I suppose to know of that?
All I know is, the wah-wah-wah train left your station.
I jsut hope you;re not dead by now.
Because it would all be for nothing if you were to just take the easy way out.
However if you have, bon voyage... Bitch.
Some people call me crazy, some say insane, off the chain...
No matter how you word it, it'll never be enough to explain...
Why I am the Way I am... But in the end all that matters is...
I AM WHO THE HELL I AM!
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