Sunday, February 28, 2010

Blood Red Shoes - Current Musical Obsession

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I honestly don't know what drew me to this band. The name? Or a chick on guitar doing vocal duties as well? Whatever it was, it doesn't matter. Because after you listen to the songs you might find yourself thinking "Is this grunge or indie rock?" And does that even matter? Not at all. Because musically BRS are just what I've been wanting to hear for a long. They are no Nirvana, Sound Garden or Hole. But they are a league of their own and I like it.

I just wish I could wrote more on them. But check them out. You'll love'em.

Article on Sleep Disorders

By Stephanie Pappas
updated 9:54 a.m. PT, Sun., Feb. 28, 2010

Sleep is supposed to be a time of peace and relaxation. Most of us drift from our waking lives into predictable cycles of deep, non-rapid-eye-movement sleep, followed by dream-filled rapid-eye-movement (REM) sleep. But when the boundaries of these three phases of arousal get fuzzy, sleep can be downright scary. In fact, some sleep disorders seem more at home in horror films than in your bedroom.

Nightmare Disorder
Whether it's running from axe-wielding murderers or showing up naked in the school cafeteria, most of us have been jolted awake by a nightmare at some point.

When nightmares move beyond occasional annoyance to near-nightly terror, however, you might have nightmare disorder. People with nightmare disorder often wake in a cold sweat with vivid memories of horrible dreams. Their waking life suffers. They may dread sleep.

Stress and sleep deprivation are major nightmare triggers, as are some medications, according to the American Sleep Association (ASA). In severe cases, counseling or sedative drugs might be necessary to soothe the anxiety underlying the bad dreams. For most of us, though, banishing the nighttime axe-murderer is as easy as taking a relaxing bath and going to bed on time.

Sleepwalking
Up to 15 percent of adults occasionally get up and amble around the house in their sleep. In children, the number is even higher. No one knows what makes some sleepers wander, but stress and disturbed sleep are often factors. So is genetics: Close relatives of sleepwalkers are 10 times more likely to sleepwalk than the general population.

You won't see sleepwalkers shuffling around, arms outstretched; many navigate their rooms with ease and are capable of opening doors and moving furniture. And while waking a sleepwalker won't do them any harm, sleepwalking itself can be dangerous. One study published in 2003 in the journal Molecular Psychiatry found that 19 percent of adult sleepwalkers had been hurt during their nocturnal forays. Falling is the biggest danger, so if you've got a sleepwalker in your house, experts recommend you move the electrical cords and steer your somnambulist away from stairs.

Night terrors
Screaming, thrashing, frantically pacing — night terrors earn their name, both for the person experiencing one and for anyone around during the event.

Unlike nightmares, which arise during REM sleep, night terrors happen during non-REM sleep, usually early in the night. They're most common in children. The person in the midst of a terror may suddenly sit upright, eyes open, though they aren't actually taking in the sights. The person often yells or screams, and can't be awakened or comforted. In some cases, night terrors mix with sleepwalking. Parents have reported children wandering the house in a state of panic. After 10 or 15 minutes, the person usually settles back into sleep, according to the National Institutes of Health. Most don't remember anything about their episode the next morning.

The cause of night terrors is a mystery, but fever, irregular sleep and stress can trigger them. Fortunately, according to the ASA, terrors usually fade after age 7.

Sleepy hallucinations
We're all used to seeing strange things in our dreams, but what about when we're not dreaming? So-called hypnagogic hallucinations occur during the transition from wakefulness to sleep (just after our head hits the pillow). And hypnopompic hallucinations hit during the waking-up process. People report hearing voices, feeling phantom sensations and seeing people or strange objects in their rooms. Bugs or animals crawling on the walls are a common vision, said Neil Kline, a sleep physician and representative of the ASA.

Sleep-related hallucinations are most common in people with narcolepsy. So while the occasional phantasmic visitation is nothing to worry about, if the hallucinations are accompanied by daytime sleepiness and loss of muscle control when excited or surprised, Kline recommends you see a doctor.

Exploding head syndrome
Okay, exploding head syndrome doesn't actually involve detonating domes. This creatively named disorder occurs during the onset of deep sleep, when the person is suddenly startled awake by a sharp, loud noise. These noises range from cymbals crashing to explosives going off. To the person hearing them, the explosions seem to originate either from right next to the person's head or inside the skull itself. There's no pain involved, and no danger, either. Doctors don't know what causes exploding head syndrome, but they do know that it isn't associated with any serious illness.

Sleep paralysis
During REM sleep, dream activity ramps up and the voluntary muscles of the body become immobile. This temporary paralysis keeps us from acting out our dreams and hurting ourselves. Sometimes, though, the paralysis persists even after the person wakes up. "You know you're awake and you want to move," Kline said. "But you just can't."

Even worse, sleep paralysis often coincides with number 7 on our list: hallucinations. In one 1999 study published in the Journal of Sleep Research, 75 percent of college students who'd experienced sleep paralysis reported simultaneous hallucinations. And these hallucinations, when they occur with sleep paralysis, are no picnic; people commonly report sensing an evil presence, along with a feeling of being crushed or choked. That sensation has given sleep paralysis a place in folklore worldwide. Newfoundlanders know it as the "Old Hag." In China, it's the "ghost pressing down on you." And in Mexico, it's known by the idiom "subirse el muerto," or "the dead climb on top of you."

Even today, some researchers suspect that tales of alien abduction may be explained by episodes of sleep paralysis.

REM behavior disorder
If sleep paralysis is an example of too much immobility, so-called REM behavior disorder is an example of too little. Sometimes, the brain doesn't properly signal the body to stay still during REM sleep. When that happens, people act out their dreams. They may yell, thrash, punch and kick, and even get out of bed and run around. When roused, they'll usually remember their dream, but they won't recall moving around. Given the violence of these outbursts, injuries are common, according to Kline.

REM behavior disorder occurs most often among older adults, and it can be a symptom of Parkinson's disease, a degenerative neurological disorder. Doctors usually treat the disorder with medications that reduce REM sleep and relax the body.

Nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder
Sure, you may have the willpower to avoid those cookies while you're awake, but what about when you're asleep? People with sleep-related eating disorder go on eating binges at night, only to wake the next morning with little to no memory of the event. Some endanger themselves by chopping ingredients or turning on the stove. Others eat raw ingredients, like frozen food or plain butter.

The disorder is poorly understood, but, like sleepwalking, it occurs during non-REM sleep. Drugs that increase dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with reward and pleasure, can help stop the unconscious nighttime snacking, doctors say.

Sexsomnia
Even stranger than sleep-eating is sleep sex, or sexsomnia. First described in a 1996 case study of seven individuals, sleep sex can range from annoying (loud sexual moans) to dangerous (self-injurious masturbation) to criminal (sexual assault or rape). In at least five controversial cases, men have been acquitted of sexual assault by arguing that they were asleep during the attack.

Most research on sexsomnia has involved small case studies. The largest study, an Internet survey of 219 people who said they experienced sleep sex, is limited because it relied on self-reports. Even so, that study, which was published in 2007 in the journal Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, suggested that sleep deprivation, stress, alcohol, drugs and physical contact with a bed partner play a role. But no one knows why some people respond to these triggers with sexual behavior.

Insomnia
If the previous nine conditions are making you rethink your once-positive stance on sleep, think again. Insomnia, the inability to fall or stay asleep, can cause irritability and lack of concentration during the day, and long-term sleep deprivation can be downright dangerous. Lack of sleep has been associated with obesity, high blood pressure and heart attacks, among other nasty symptoms. And according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, drowsy driving causes more than 100,000 car crashes and 1,550 deaths each year.

The good news is that most of the disorders on this list respond to treatment—and having one doesn't mean you're crazy.

"Often people feel that there is a psychological reason for having these events. They think that there's some Freudian answer to solving these problems," said the ASA's Kline. "Modern science does not support that. There is a physiological reason."

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Willow - Repost of all Posts

Originally posted on Jan. 1, 2010

I've started reading a book called 'Willow.' It's not about the movie that had Val Kilmer in it. 4 champters in and it's very much a girl book. But I'll read through it. Unbelievable are the thoughts she has. I'm not sure anyone in the world thinks like her, but that doesn't matter.

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The book talks about teenage depression and cutting.


I might at a later time write a review on the book.


- The Stranger aka Coffee & Cigarettes (a nickname given to me by my dad, believe it or not).

====

Originally posted on Jan. 28, 2010

Willow... How could I describe the book of Willow without giving away the details of the story? The only way I could is to tell you that it makes you think. That it makes you look at yourself. The story, even if you don't quite connect to it... Makes you think about things you've done to yourself in the past or even lately. The story is at the end of book all about finding something you thought you'd never have... Even though there are parts of your life that you know you'll never get back. I think we all as people of society know just how that feels.

Honestly the book is a good read, easy at first and then the chapters build up.

The only gripe I have with the book is how the two main characters speak to each other. I admit at first I hated how the story consists of random thoughts from Willow. I then began to not be bothered so much by them really. It was just how they have her... I guess he is a love interest, but how he talks. He doesn't sound too much like a dude really. More or less like the imagination of how a woman or girl would love a guy to talk.

Honest rating, 5 stars our of 5 bright stars in the midnight sky.

====

Originally posted Feb. 27, 2010

I honestly find myself wondering where that story will go. I've found myself in two different books at the same time. Trying to keep my interest in reading and yet get two books out of the way. But the one that stays on my mind is Willow.

I'd just love to know where that story is going. Will it continue where it left off? What does the future hold for Willow and Guy?

Julia Hoban please tell me if you are going to continue that story.

Willow by Julia Hoban - Current Obsession - Life after Willow

I honestly find myself wondering where that story will go. I've found myself in two different books at the same time. Trying to keep my interest in reading and yet get two books out of the way. But the one that stays on my mind is Willow.

I'd just love to know where that story is going. Will it continue where it left off? What does the future hold for Willow and Guy?

Julia Hoban please tell me if you are going to continue that story.

Mysteries.

When people look into your eyes, they see mysteries galore. You're a deep and intellectual person, and others can see that through your sparkling eyes. You're quiet and shy, but once you get to know someone, you become comfortable around them. Your eyes often spark curiousity in others, and it bothers people how they can never tell what you're really thinking. You're hard to read and often hide your true emotions.

as taken from Facebook. lol

Friday, February 26, 2010

Poem? Lyrics? Inspired?

Broken nails, busted teeth
The feeling creeps in and out
The pain soon follows
My eyes burn, wide open and stricken red
Time flies and days simply move on by
Violate the night, dead by sunrise
Just an open wound across the living

Time heels, just not all the time
Ironic how that works
I suppose it just depends on who you are
I suppose it's all about what you're willing to pay

Broken fingers, broken arm
this feeling has returned
Soon the depression follows
mouth closed, yet the words scream out
Time slips away through my fingers like sand
Violate the night, living dead when the sun comes up
Just a pale faced zombie in society

Time heels, just not all the time
Ironic how that works
I suppose it just depends on who you are
I suppose it's all about what you're willing to pay

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

FEB. 16, 2010

I figure I’m going to try the whole “blog” thing. You know how it goes. I take events in my life currently and lay them out vague and very cryptic. So here it goes.


“I have lost the will to live. Simply nothing more to give.” - Metallica ‘Fade To Black’


Lately I feel like throwing in the towel. Just conceding to everybody’s, shall we say - expectations of me. I’m just a deadbeat, dumb ass in the eyes of many people. I believe at times what I’m doing now could be considered a precursor to whatever I do next. Somewhat like the idea of being a pothead for such a long time, and then suddenly I decided to quit and move on. That pothead you once knew is now someone better. That could be me in this current situation. Or what could be is in just another stupid piece of shit working at McDonalds. Is that really what I want? Lately it seems what I want doesn’t matter. Simply because there is a long list of “What YOU NEED TO DO.” Right in front of me and everyone else I’ve talked to. I guess you could call it discouragement. Honestly, it’s just I’m tired of trying, trying and failing and trying to fail gracefully.


“I pour kerosene on everything I love, And watch it burn. I know it's my fault.” REHAB ‘Bartender’


Personally speaking, I believe that when you don’t have much faith in the people around you… How can you have any faith in yourself? Or believe in the “good book”? Now, that doesn’t mean I’m questioning faith, and what The Lord and Jesus his son have done for us all. It just means that, with the good comes the bad and vise versa. Nothing is really balanced. Because you can do something bad, and something good happens to or for the person who has done nothing but make your life or some else’s a complete living hell. I’ve got a friend, who thinks that life is grand. This friend believes everything is how they have ever wanted it to be… Except for a few minor flaws here and there. So they look at me or others and completely write them off as “losers” and “lowlife’s.” To look at people with no real plan in life and call them ‘scum’ is wrong. Simply because, before I started to “TRY” (and I really emphasize the word TRY) I wasn’t that happy in life and I have to admit… I feel even fucking worse. I guess one good thing is, I’ve quit smoking, and haven’t had a cigarette in a months, almost 10 now. Yet some bullshit still gets to me and I have this voice that starts to scream inside my head that I need a cigarette. I’m also not so much of a caffeine junkie anymore, but that’s a completely different subject.

“Sucker myself into believing that I'm doing the right thing. I think of your face and I pretend that I'm not alone. I'm lining up all the love and the trust and the good things, But there's a hole in my heart where I once kept a piece of home” - Black Light Burns “One Of Yours”

Truth Be TOLD. I am, always will be and never will change… Am seriously fucked up. My thoughts are random, my words are silent and my eyes ask ‘Do you see a life inside me?’ The answer, honestly is ‘NO!’ Because to restate what I’ve said already. I’m looked at as a deadbeat, a lowlife, scum of the earth and a fucking lifeless brain-dead jackass. What a lovely life I live and have only know to live. Yet, even through all the clouded affirmations that I’m nothing more then a future suicide, I was still slightly happy. Even with all the bullshit, all the hatred from my family and the screaming, yelling and bitching from the only people in my everyday life. All of which love to call me down, support me and then watch me drown. Kind of makes me feel useless and at the same time lets me know just what is thought of me.


“The perfect sound of middle ground. Pull me under before I try to drag you down.” - Finger Eleven “Drag You Down”


Some might look at this, read some of it and say “Dude is just groaning over spilled milk.” It might be spilled milk to some. Yet to me, it’s a drill. A mother fucking metal drill used to rip into my skull and plant the seeds of everything these people think of me. To let me know, whatever I think isn’t real. That book on my life is written, I’m just working my way through the chapters. Sometimes I love to take a look forward in that book and try as I might… I just can’t seem to read the text that is there. Am I dyslexic? Or is it just not in the balance (there I go again, talking about balance) for me to see into where I am and where I am suppose to end up.



“The More of You That I Inspect The More of Me I See Reflect. The More I Try To Read Your Lips. The More The Mask Your Wearing Rips.” - Megadeth ‘Angry Again’

5 signs of Sleep Deprivation

As taken from MSN health & fitness (without permission)

1. You're flummoxed by even simple decisions

I say: Fuck that. Even off 3 and half days without sleep I can still make up my mind and half the time I make better decisions when I don't "sleep on it."

2. You've been eating all day, and you're still hungry!

I say: I DRINK COFFEE AND EAT TOAST! How is that possible? Shouldn't I be eating like Megan Fox in Jennifer's Body? Somewhere someone needs to kick themself in the ass.

3. You keep coming down with colds

I say: I already have a weak immune system. So I can chalk it up to that... BITCH! lol

4. The ballads on American Idol move you to tears

I say: I don't watch that shit. I watch Pro Wrestling. WHAT MOFO!?

5. You've become a klutz

I say: I'm already clumsy, no need to blame it on sleep or lack thereof.

====

YOU BITCHES NEED A BETTER ARGUEMENT! WOO WOO WOO! YOU KNOW IT!

Monday, February 15, 2010

The more things change... The more they stay the same...

Thats a saying I once heard. I don't know it well enough to believe that it is true.

But I was reminded of that statement because I spent the last 2 days at my dads house. He's a paralegal and he worked a lot when I was a kid. He worked 5am until 3am the next day. There has been no change in that time frame at all. I am now 22 year old and on this day I got to hear my dad do a radio interview and then connect with a new contact that could help him in his latest case.

Sadly when I was a kid I didn't appreciate the work my father did, as much as I do now. I wish I could work with him. Even if I were just to take pictures. Because I did once take a photography class. Which I really hated. Yet I learned a bit from that class. Though that was a looooooong time ago.

Anyway it's late and I'll be volunteering at a pre-school tomorrow and Family Guy is on right now.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Bands at Bars...

Went to a bar for the 2nd time ever in my life. First time wasn't that bad really. The smoking laws have gotten so that you can't even smoke in a bar anymore. So the only smell in the air was alcohol. Plus I was jsut in there to sit down until the band I came to see was on stage.

Lastnight however I went to a bar to see a local band that I love. CHOKEOUT! The dude at the door was an asshole and smelt like shit. I swear to gog, he could have showered before going to work or at the very least sprayed a can AXE bodyspray all over himself. Fucking dude was terrible as a person too. Gave me hell for no fucking reason. Kept me standing outside in the rain for 10 fucking minutes while he examined my ID to see if that was really me. Fucking stupid. I know I'm not a regular. But there is no need to be an asshole like that.

And after I paid my and my sisters way into the bar, he walked off and about 5-6 people walked in without paying. They stood there like they should, but when no one came they ordered a drink and walked inside and got comfortable. It was shitty.

Oh and then I saw a sign that read "The Speakeasy. The Wildest Bar in America." Fuck that. Just a bunch of assholes running the joint acting like they've got a reason to be they way they are. If I ever step foot in the speakeasy again, hell is going to freeze over and I'll probably be back at that shitty college I went to for 2 semesters.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

4283... Hate

Is such a strong word. Even the emotion, the feeling it captures when spoken to someone is just hard to understand.

So it is an understatement to just say that I hate everyone?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Coffee...

"Drinking up to six cups of coffee a day does not appear to raise a person's risk of dying prematurely, according to a new study of more than 125,000 coffee drinkers in Spain and the United States."

As taken from AOL.com

Pathological Liar...

#1 Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English

This Main Entry: pathological liar
Part of Speech: n
Definition: a person who lies to the point of it being considered a disease or condition, an abnormally habitual liar

Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English, Preview Edition (v 0.9.7)
Copyright © 2003-2008 Lexico Publishing Group, LLC



#2 Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary

Main Entry: pathological liar
Function: noun
: an individual who habitually tells lies so exaggerated or bizarre that they are suggestive of mental disorder

Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

4 Hours...

I was 4 hours away from making it a full 4 days. But I just couldn't last. My body just hit the wall. My mom said I looked like a drunk. I wish I could have lasted that 4 hours to make it 4 whole days. But I guess 3 days and 20 hours was good enough.

I have to say... I will do it. I did it once when I was younger, much younger. I will do it again, even in my "pre-old age."

Friday, February 5, 2010

My Study... day 3

I can barely think right now, so I'll try and keep this short and simple or short and sweet. However you like it... And I didn't mean for that to sound sexual.

I'm drinking a Monster M-80 energy drink... the taste is great. For once I'd love to have another... But can't cause all I bought was one and the grocery store wont sell me more then 2 a day... Bunch of concerned woman. LOL. That's messed up. I know, I know.

My body aches today, yesterday it did as well. Just not that much, today it feels like I fell off a two story building and landed on my feet and my knees are killing me and my lower back feels sloppy. It feels like I'm walking like a slingy rolls down steps.

Hell my spelling sucks. I've edited this several times as I type.


Peace.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Sleep Deprivation and the Damage Done...

Well I've got done watching some so-called study on Sleep and what Sleep Deprivation can do to you.

The scientist said "Sleeping for only 6-7 hours a night for 2 weeks is like pulling two all nighters in a row."

Well I've gone past 2 all nighters in a row and I've never noticed any damage done to myself and I should know. I've gone past 2 all nighters in a row and I've never noticed any damage done to myself. I should Know. I've gone 3.5 days in a row without sleep.

Apparently lack of sleep can cause you to be irritable, feel like you're hungry, sleepy (NO SHIT!), weaken your muscles and cause serious depression.

SAD NEWS IS: I'm already depressed. I doubt it's the fucking lack of sleep. My knees are fucked beyond repair, so that blows that thoery out of the water. Hungry? I eat once a day. FUCK YOU! And irritable. lol, well, shit maybe you got me there. I don't know. At least I can still laugh at myself.

Albert Goldman

"No man is really changed by success. What happens is that success works on the mans personality like a truth drug, bringing him out of the closet and revealing... What was always inside his head."

The Purity of America... Is Gone.

What do I mean by that? I mean when I was growing up I loved Satureday morning cartoons. I loved coming home from school and watching GARFIELD, Rugrats and several other shours that would consumes my hours instead of homework. Yes I admit I barely got by in school. That didn't mean I wasn't smart, it just meant that I was more concerned with fun during my childhood. Now you fastforward I am 23 years old, I still love cartoons and I love to read. I love to listen to Classical music, I love Grunge, Metal, Punk and hell even some Pop music if it sounds good to my ears and doesn't bother my brain.

Kids now have grown up too fast. They've got cellphones and computers, laptops more likely then a desktop. They dress like Britney Spears and Hannah Montana. They are "IN LOVE" with the Jonas brothers and Zach and Cody. I have no idea where all of this has come from and how in the world it destroyed everything I used to love.

Now don't get me wrong. I love the Shrek movies just as any one else does. Yet the old school hand drawn cartoons seem to be gone. I can even notice the computer animation in Sponge Bob Square Pants.

MP3 players have replaved CD players and Walkman Cassette players. Hell if I could, I'd walk around with a fucking ghettoblaster that runs off 100 batteries just to feel like it was 1994 all over again.

Hell I still dress like I did when I was in 5th grade. I haven't tried to outgrow who I am or tried to phase these parts out of me. I just cannot see why anyone would want to. Much like how kids are just doing things to be socially accepted, labeled and set to the wayside in the fabric of society. It's a fucking crime.


Please, anyone who is a parent. Take the cellphones away, turn the laptop off, the computer the TV, the blueray, th DVD's and smach the MP3 players. Get outside and build a treehouse with your kids. Throw a football around, teach them to skip and do cartwheels. HAVE A SACK RACE or something that you'd do a family BBQ or get together.

Or don't. The Choice is yours.