Cancer of Society...

There is a cancer among all of us in society... That cancer is the monthly trends. I can stand those people who believe they have to act/dress/BE a certain way to be regarded under a label.

Emo: You have to cut, wear checkered wristbands, pink vans, tight jeans, shitty huge hair or short hair (girls), overly long bangs (guys) and wear t-shirts of Indie Rock bands you don't quite understand but "like" because all the intellectual people like them.

Goth: cheap hooker makeup that has no color just black, white and maybe purple/green/red, clothes that you can see through with rips and tears all over and t-shirts of bands that sound like The Cure mixed with HIM. long tangled greesy extremely black hair.

Indie Rocker: Emo except not so depressed with a cheap overcoat that you found in your dads old clothes in the attic/basement.

Punk: trashy, ripped jeans, spiked hair and a permanent sneer and shitty attitude.

Stoner: trashy, stupid and love Bob Marley.

Metal: Emo, except you don't cut you just punch yourself and other people for no reason but to be an asshole and "have a good time."


Is that really who you are?

Open Pondering...

I haven't gotten the bad taste out of my mouth from that whole experience. It's a mix of disgust, loathing and really really watered down bland coffee.

All jokes aside I just hate the schooling system that has taken over the world. If you aren't born rich or have some kind of sponsor.

After about a month now of being away from college I don't find myself wanting to go back just yet. Though I have discovered a program that would help get me back into college... But then looking more and more into it. I need to not have a high school diploma or G.E.D. Which I have, so with the red tape in place I am fucked there.

'Oh well, whatever - Nevermind.'

Giving Up...

They say giving up is the easiest thing you can do... Truth is, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do because once you've decided to just give up... There's no going back to where is all started. Once you've given up on yourself, you just can't get that confidence back you one had. That is, if you were actually confident with yourself in the first place.

Willow - Current Obsession of the Literary Kind...

Willow... How could I describe the book of Willow without giving away the details of the story? The only way I could is to tell you that it makes you think. That it makes you look at yourself. The story, even if you don't quite connect to it... Makes you think about things you've done to yourself in the past or even lately. The story is at the end of book all about finding something you thought you'd never have... Even though there are parts of your life that you know you'll never get back. I think we all as people of society know just how that feels.

Honestly the book is a good read, easy at first and then the chapters build up.

The only gripe I have with the book is how the two main characters speak to each other. I admit at first I hated how the story consists of random thoughts from Willow. I then began to not be bothered so much by them really. It was just how they have her... I guess he is a love interest, but how he talks. He doesn't sound too much like a dude really. More or less like the imagination of how a woman or girl would love a guy to talk.

Honest rating, 5 stars our of 5 bright stars in the midnight sky.

Nature Vs. Nurture

How does one go about killing what they have created? That's not an easy answer to give. I know. Because We The People have created a monster. We Created Corporate America and in time our baby got so big that we began to fear it. So we kept feeding and coddling it. Soon it left us where we were. Left us all with nothing but the pain of absence and loneliness. Then our little monster got bigger and bigger. So big in fact that it proclaimed that it could not fail... It failed and now it's looking back at us, like a weeping giant at our door... And what are we doing? We're doing what we all once did before. We are coddling, feeding and trying to protect our little monster. It is no longer a baby and it will never be our child again. It took on a life of it's own when it walked away from us all. It'll do it again and when that time comes. It'll leave us drained more so then it had before.

In the movie Batman Begins - Christian Bale as Batman says "I wont kill you... But I don't have to save you." I think that statement applies here.

I'm not telling you something that you don't already know.

2012

That year is looming around the corner and every expert and local "know it all" out there believe it will bring about the end of days.

Well I say to every scientist that says it's the end... Come December the entire world will not pay their bills and if the end is here... It wont matter. If it however doesn't happen... Then all of you can pay our rent, our water, sewer, garbage and cable bill. Hell you can give us a little something back to life as well. Because the way I see it. This 2012 thing is big business for you.

You've got all your "THE END IS NIGH" t-shirts out there and the crazy hobo's that promote your word. Give something back to society. If the end doesn't happen... Give the people back their intergrity. But if you can't, maybe a few coins in the pocket will be of better use to us all.


Just remember... I'm not telling you something you don't already know.

Lamentations 3:22

"… His compassions never fail. They are new every morning…"

Fuck C.A. Part 2

In the long run of these years... Who will be the one to look bad? Us the little people of society? Or the Big Business of America that is begging for help? I think in the long run, it'll be you corporate America. Us little people can fall on our faces, yet we have learned how to get up. Just as we have learned to help those who ask for help. Even now, as you beg and plead for help. WE COME TO YOUR AID! It's a learned sickness really. From the day we are born, we are taught that we shall help those in need. Yet we don't realize when you are asking for help... It's because you can no longer pay your poolboy to clean your pool. You can no longer pay for your car to be washed by a complete stranger. You can no longer get your imports and good from Amazon.com. Should, We The People honestly pay for that?

I'm not telling you something you don't already know.

John 15:13

"Greater Love hath no man than this, That a man lay down his life for his friends."

-I just read this and felt like I should post it. I'm not a very religious person. Yet I do find a light in the darkness at times.-

Not a Poem, but a Blurb really...

I wrote this one day out of complete boredom and yet I got out of my head some random thougths that kept creeping inside my mind while I was writing a paper for English 101.

****

The sun shines brightly outside the window.
I try to cover my eyes, cover my head, try to fall asleep.
Even as the sound of birds singing and kids playing waves in and out.
My alarm clock sounds as the CD player gets ready to play track 01.
Randomly selected? I think not.
Chosen because of the hard pounding metal-ass-kicking riffs, that if given less volume could sound like a heart beat on cocaine and red bull.
Bored to tears, bored to death - BORED TO DAMN NEAR SUICIDE!
Everything I know, everything I love changes and fades to gray.
All 14 shades, before it fades away.
Away and away and now I fade to black.
Gone, gone and now I'm nothing - yet again.
Running my fingers through my hair, intent on PULLING IT OUT!
Run my hands over scars, some you nor I can see…
And some I know you will never see, because I will not show you…
And because you don't care…You don't know that…But in time you will.

"To Be Continued..." Another Poem

I'm on a drug induced high.
At times it seems to numb the pain inside.
Only to leave the sores in my mind.
Pop another pill, drink another glass.
Keep my eyes open slightly enough to look awake.
Pop another pill, pretend I'm fine.
Pop another pill, pretend I'm still alive.
Drink more coffee, light another cigarette.
The white in my eyes begins to turn red.
Lack of sleep has my face sunken in.
I look in the mirror and Don't know who I see.
Is that me I'm looking at?
Or is that the monster I've become?
Punch myself in the face to see if I still feel.
Press a blade into my arm to see if I still bleed.
Press my face into the mirror to see if there is anything left...of the person I once was...
To Be Continued...

~This here is an older poem I wrote. It kind of lacks any type of structure. Just kind of blunt and pretty much to the point to how I felt at the time. I've never done drugs or drank, but that's just something I've always thought worked in writing. To express emotion and tell you just how I feel.~

Fuck the monthly Trends and "Social" Stance...

To anyone who believes that being a part of a trend and being accepted by your style... Social stance means nothing at all.

Do you drink coffee and wear black and mascara because the Goth kids do it? Do you paint X's on your hands and the number 24 on your shirt and sip carrot juice and listen to Throwdown and Casey Jones because thats what "you have to do to be sXe"? Do you paint your face to look like a corpse and carve "SLAYER" into your arms, because you are METAL? Do you wear a silver cross around your neck and carry a bible in your arms, because you listen to Skillet, Old school Creed, Demon Hunter and Disciple?

I'm sure you do many of these things and really don't even care about the labels and then there are the select few who take it to heart. Who take it overly seriously. For those people, my heart bleeds for you. I don't claim an image, I know who I am. I don't care what you think when you see me. I've heard it all, Emo, Goth, Metal, PUNK... WHATEVER. I'd love to be called Kenneth for once and not by a trend.


I used to smoke. I gave that up, because it's bad for me. And I realized after 2 semesters of college that there isn't enough stress in the world for me to smoke to ease my nerves.

I drink coffee like an alcoholic hits the Jack Daniels.

I wear black, and it's not because I'm GOTH or that I listen to Manson... Because I don't listen to Manson... Old School Manson and a select few of his newer songs.

I like Pro Wrestling, so that must mean I am under educated.

I believe in Ghosts, Aliens and Mythical Creatures... Because I'm Native American... Not really. Because I want to believe.

Embrace Your Pain And Make It A Part Of Yourself...

Talking to several people from my life as of these last few years... I've realized I've let so many opportunities slip through my fingers... Yet, the thing is... I never reached out to capture them... Was it all just that my lack of enthusiasm and low standards have caught up to me now and I see where I went wrong?

Hard to believe I've only got 2 semesters of college under my belt... Yet, I think I'm letting that slip through my hands as well... Like sand at the beach... Yet the last time I was ever at a beach, I was 10 years old and the sunshine looked gray... Almost perfect... Just it was still bright...

All in all, anyone who reads this... I want to let you know... That when you try to let go of things and forget... You ony prolong that pain... When all you ever needed to do was embrace it and make it a part of who you are... Instead of making it all you've ever known by trying to hide it... Trying to erase it... Trying to become a better person and ultimately failing yourself.

Embrace your pain and make it a part of who you are... Don't let it overcome you while yout try to pretend it isn't there.

Another Vatican-Jesuit Genocide Being Uncovered

This time against Native Americans and their children

By Greg Szymanski, JDJan. 18, 2010

The hypocrisy and double talk of the Vatican and its henchmen in the Jesuit Order knows no limits.

Now they are faced with a new challenge:

How to cover-up the sexual abuse abuse, torture and killing of native American Indians at Jesuit Mission Schools established with the help of the U.S. government.

The task in this case, however, should be quite easy for the Vatican/Jesuit double talkers as they have been covering up their roles in assassinations, wars and genocides for centuries.

In fact, they probably view this latest run-in with Native Americans as small potatoes, viewing it like a fly on a camel’s back in light of the tens of millions they have killed in the past.

Today on my radio show, The Investigative Journal, Ken Bear Chief spoke regarding the Jesuit crimes against children. Access the interview, dated Jan. 18,2010, at the archives at http://www.libertyradiolive.com/.

Ken is an investigator for the Tamaki Law Firm in Washington that has filed a federal law suit against the Jesuits in the Oregon Province.

Here is what Blaine Tamaki, lead attorney in the case, has to say about the Jesuit atrocities:

“The media has not heard or reported the sexual predatory horrors we have heard firsthand.

“This is the first story that must be told. It is a universal violation of human rights and the ultimate in crimes.

“Yes, priest abuse of trusting white people children has been revealed and some compensation paid. But, the particular hostage pedophilia at Indian boarding schools is the closest evil to the Holocaust in US history.

“Children. Helpless children of Indian blood systemically raped and sexually exploited for decades by pedophile Jesuit priests under the guise of their own Catholic God.

“Yes, cultural genocide occurred, but something much worse happened than anybody imagined. And that story must be told so that people around the world with universally held values can get sick to their stomach.

“Like the Holocaust (this was) Evil, The purest evil, in its worst form. And it was perpetrated on the children of the Natives of our country. And no one was punished…no one was convicted.

“It was covered up for decades. And Jesuits have become rich with their great cathedrals and Universities as the one of most respected institutions in this country. That’s the story I want told and am committed to tell.”

Tamaki made this statement to raise public awareness after filing a lawsuit against the Oregon Province, known as the Society of Jesus located in Washington, Idaho, Oregon, Montana, and Alaska.

His firm represents over 90 Native American sexual abuse and torture victims, the tip of a bloody iceberg which has been going on for more than 100 years.

Here is more on the story taken from a web site compiled by Ken Bear Chief at http://www.priestabuselaw.com/

In the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s, Jesuit priests and brothers around the Northwest physically and sexually abused children and teens at Jesuit-run schools and missions. The abuse perpetrated on victims ranged from inappropriate touching to rape.

The perpetrators of the abuse worked for the Society of Jesus, Oregon Province, a religious order based in Portland, Oregon. The Province operated schools, missions, and churches throughout Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, and Alaska for decades, going back to the 1940’s. Many of these schools, missions, and churches were on Indian reservations, and many of the victims were Native Americans. However, the race, age, and gender of the victims varied greatly.

Coming forward with your story of abuse is difficult and takes courage, but you are not alone. Many people who were victimized at Jesuit institutions have told their stories and made the perpetrators, and the institution that allowed the abuse to occur, accountable for their wrongful actions. While some of the survivors of abuse have reached a settlement with the Province, it is estimated that many more survivors have yet to come forward.

Keep in mind that survivors of abuse at the hands of Jesuits must come forward quickly to preserve their claim. If you or someone you know was a victim of abuse by a priest, brother, volunteer, or employee of a Jesuit institution, please call us and make your voice heard. Holding the Province accountable for the abuse that occurred at its schools and missions helps stop the cycle of abuse against children. By standing together, you can help other victims and yourself.

Abuse survivors often feel isolated and alone with the secret of abuse. We are here to listen and help you find a voice to speak out against what happened and begin the healing process. By standing together, the survivors of abuse can make a difference. You can speak to us in confidence and with the assurance that we will listen and assess your claim. Because time is running out for legal action, please contact us immediately. We are here to help.

The number of children and teens abused is estimated to be in the hundreds, perhaps thousands, over several decades. The abuse perpetrated by these Jesuits was pervasive and damaged many lives. The evidence revealed to date indicates that the Province failed to monitor sexual perpetrators and in some cases knowingly transferred the perpetrators to other locations, allowing them to abuse again.


====
I am reposting this because it talks about the work my dad Mr. Bear Chief is doing right now.

Fuck Corporate America...

The economy is hard of you just as it is hard on the smaller people of society. I say "smaller" people, because you have built yourselves up as "too big to fail." Robbin Williams said it in best in his hbo SEPCIAL - "That's like saying too fat to diet. WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Seriously, ads that state you are going under and are declaring bankrupcy is just damn near childish. Yet I believe a child has more of a mond to know when to say "This day is done. I'll try again tomorrow." Because that is what courage is. Not always admitting your faults, but knowing you'll make it through.

Hell right now I'm sitting in a room with a lighter and I feel in dire need of a cigarette. I've quit smoking now for nearly 5 months and I feel so much better now. Yet I know that the nicotine will hurt me in the years to come. It may not so much now, but it will soon come back to haunt me. Just as you're business tactics now will come back to haunt you.


Coffee & Cigarettes...

Another Poem...

Overdose On Apathy, No Need For Pills

I swallow one to forget
I swallow another to ease my regrets
I swallow one more to numb my thoughts
I swallow another to make sure I’ll die
Yet this time I find myself somewhere I’ve been before
At the edge of the world staring back at you
I want to scream until my lungs are sore
I want you to finally pull the trigger
Yet I find the more I see you now
The more I wish I’d never let go
So I swallow another and fall asleep
Into a world I’ll never see
Still however, a world I’ll never forget


=-=Not sure about this one... I can't reallt recall if I wrote it just to write something or if I had a thought in place that rolled out and this is what I was left with.=-=

Current Obsessions (of the Musical kind)

Legend of the Wu-Tang Clan: Wu-Tang Clan's Greatest Hits



Great fucking cd from first track to last track. Almost forgot how much I really liked hip-hop. For any true fan this is a must have. Yet I'm sure a true fan would have all the cds already and would have no need fr a greatest hits. Truth is, the last cd I had of from the Wu-Tang was 36 Chambers. Great cd there as well.

I think the only problem I've ever had with Wu songs are the intro's they have before almost every track. Yet even with that little annoyance, there is always a bright light at the end of that tunnel.

Movies I've Seen Lately...

The Road: I'd score this movie a on a scare of 1-5, a 3.5. Why? Visually the movie was great but tame compared to the images that run through your head when you read the book. Plus I didn't care for the fact that the screenplay writer decided to ad a back story and a "mother/wife" to the mix. That wasn't in the book and to me wasn't needed. More of the book was left out too and some other things added in. In the book when the man and the boy get to the ocean, he swims over to the boat that is half out of the water and finds a few things they could use. That scene wasn't in the movie and all we got was a half-assed scene where dude gets naked and starts swimming over to the boat. Overall the movie was still very good and if you've not read the book it'll be an even better movie.

Just like Angels & Demons. I read the book and hated the movie. I loved the movie Da Vinci Code, so I refuse to read the book now.

The Book of Eli: of a scale from 1-5 this movie gets a fucking 10. From start to finish I was hooked. Visually the movie was far superior to The Road. This movie for me was more like what The Road should have been. Plus Gary Oldman was fucking bad ass in the movie. Mila Kunis was great too, but her role looked a lot different in the movie previews I'd seen long before I went to see this movie.

Daybreakers: 1-5 I give this movie a full fledged 5. I had no idea what this movie was about. I was just at the movie theater and needed to kill 2 hours. So I flipped a coin and decided to the see the next movie starting. That movie was Daybreakers. I paid my way, walked inside and over to the brown double doors. I walked over to the front, not because of my terrible eyesight - but because the rest of the theater was packed. I took a seat in the middle and sat there the whole time and didn't even move to get comfortable again. I was hooked. Visually the movie was great, the story was even better and Willem Dafoe is always a bad ass motherfucker in any movie he does.

It's Complicated: I'm just a fan of Alec Baldwin's. So you know I had to see this movie. On a scale, once again from 1-5 I give this movie a solid 3. It's not a bad movie and it's saved by Baldwin's performance. Steve Martin is plain and dull in the movie and tries too hard to be funny at times and falls flat.

Precious: 1-5 scale, easily a 4. The movie is hard to explain, but captures you and makes you want to finish from first scene to last end credit. You watch the story unfold and notice little things here and there about the main character. Her mother is abusive and plaid by a comedienne. Very odd deal there, yet Mo'Nique pulled it off and added that extra "Wow" to the movie. One thing that confused me was the the main character is raped by her father? Or was he her step-father? That was never cleared up. But she was raped by him twice and got pregnated each time. Throughout the movie, Precious lives in her own world in her mind. At one point she is looking in a mirror and she see's a tall, thin and beautiful blonde and not herself. Overall a heart-wrenching movie with an even harder story that unfolds. But through it all, does Precious get way from the daily abuse from her mother and incestious molestation from her father? If you want to find out. Go see the movie.

Movie I'll see next... Pandora, Sherlock Holmes and possibly Up In The Air.

Fuck Youtube & Dailymotion

Both are literally taking creativity away from people. But I understand a select few will say "If you are so creative, then why do you have to break the copyright law?" My answer. Sometimes you just need something better then your own little keyboard soundtrack for a video. I admit, I once looped a Nine Inch Nails clip and distorted it for a video. It worked and no copyright violation was brought down on me. It was shitty that I had to do that though, because the original music as it was intended to be heard was much better.

And here I am right now with 4 copyright violations. WHHHAT!? First of all one of the video's I had featured a remix of a song, that I DID on my own. Another one got the shitty ad's put all over and the other two were taken down with my accounts pretty much being threatened with deletion.

Here's a little snippet for anyone from YT of DM.

"Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for fair use for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use."

Current Obsessions (literature)

I've started reading a book called 'Willow.' It's not about the movie that had Val Kilmer in it. 4 champters in and it's very much a girl book. But I'll read through it. Unbelievable are the thoughts she has. I'm not sure anyone in the world thinks like her, but that doesn't matter.



The book talks about teenage depression and cutting.


I might at a later time write a review on the book.


- The Stranger aka Coffee & Cigarettes (a nickname given to me by my dad, believe it or not).

State of My Not-So United Mind...

These are some, I guess they are poems that I've written... I have more. Just not on my laptop right now... Still haven't hooked up neither of my old desktops to get anything else from them. But I have these three because I had them on a flashdrive... Was tresting it out. LOL. I guess it worked.

====

I Am Nowhere

The wind blows and pulls everything apart that we used to love.
Now it’s hard to see past the gray and all the dark clouds.
Rain falls silently like a motion picture without sound.
Breathing becomes difficult at first and then we find ourselves.
I am nowhere though, still just a random thought.
A memory of a time you’d rather forget.
I am nowhere, just the empty love you now regret.
Now I look back at these photographs.
I see the cracks and I see why you’d like to erase the memory.
Yet I can’t comprehend why you’d go as far as to hate me.


Empty Streets of My Mind

I walk along the sidewalks in my mind.
[I see] The streets are empty and everything is vacant.
I wonder where it all went...
And I know, it left when you did.
The wind blows, and yet nothing moves.
Not a bag, not a piece of paper and not the sound of your voice.
I miss everything about you.
I really do and it hurts me to even remember.
I wish now I were more like you...
How you hurt me and washed your hands of the blood.
I guess in the end, the truth is I’m not over you...

Joining Blogspot...

This isn't something new or original. I'm not looking to do that... Any of that. It's just new for me and I never thought I'd start an account here. But here I am today January 19th 2010... Wow.