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So far away, the distance at hand could kill a thousand hearts...
Only available through speach, sound and sight...
The ocean of everything inbetween is almost worth drowning in...
The sound of the water and earth crashing over my head...
I just want it to never end...
As I hear your voice, faint and distant...
Almost close enough for the wind to carry it to my ears...
I want the sound to envelope my head, my thoughts and stay with me forever...
Forever in my box where I count away the days...
Marking them down, until I no longer remember what I'm counting on...
Or remember my own name, only who you are and how I feel...
Pound the nails, crack the lid slightly...
Let some light in, as I bottle up your essence...
Or what I imagine you to be...
I want to paint your picture...
Paint you as the world...
Your eyes would be the stars...
Your heart would be the sun...
And you, you would be my universe...
Forever playing with these planets I dedicate to you...
Every blackwhole is like a birthmark...
Forever there, forever a mystery...
New days, new beginnings and new faith...
Not necessarilly religion, but something deeper to believe in...

Natural Born Killaz

My Ruin have done a cover of the old school rap song with DEATH WORK PROFESSIONALS.

I'd post the nonsense they are saying on FB, but I don't care to. Because the song isn't original, none of it as much as they are acting like it is. It sounds exactly like FM Rackets cover of the same song.

Get real Miss B.

Save Me

So much that I've done wrong it's an open book
I've done much more than my fair share of damage

What once was hidden now is crystal clear. Transformation is within me
To break the cycle I must turn to you
What I lack I gain through your virtue I gain through you

Even when I fall will you still believe. Even when I'm lost will you still believe

Shattered by the hate that I carry
Take me as I am and make me whole again
I am lost without a purpose always consumed by self
I freely give this calloused heart can you forgive me

Even when I fall will you still believe
Even when I'm lost will you still believe
Now I don't have much, will you save me
But I'll give it all, will you save me

I've made so many mistakes
And I've broken so many promises
I've searched inside and I'm empty
Will you save me Will you save me

Even when I fall will you still believe
Even when I'm lost will you still believe
Every time I fall will you save me
Even when I fall will you save me

Man In The Box...

You say that I don't have any fight left in me...
The truth is, I was born without the will to fight...
I have no idea how I've lived this long...
I have no will to survive...
I'm just a man in a box...
My life is usless, my existence is a question...
Jesus on that cross can't save me...
Even though my crazy thoughts sometimes wish he could...
Come down my savior, come down off your burden...
Come down and share your wisdom and truth with me...
Or would that wish be too damn easy?
The truth about atheism, is that christians are the number one cause...
You hide inside your 4 walls of "redemption" and throw your stones at society...
That'll never help anyone, not even I... The man in the box...
Counting away the days, until I can no longer remember my own name...
You say you want the best for me, but you only focus on the negative...
How is that possible? It's like living on a double edged knife...
You're just waiting for a reason...
whatever that reason is for, only you know...
I'm just tired of wondering, and pretending I can help...
I'm sorry I'm more useless to you than I am to myself...

Family Guy doesn't heal everything...

Frazzled beyong repair. My mind is overloaded lately with Stewie Griffin's feeble attempts to kill his own mother. Peter is , for all intent purposes a simpleton... And yet one classy motherfucker. Brian, you are a lowlife living the highlife. Chris is a jackass and Meg, well Meg deserves a spinoff much like Cleveland got... Yet Cleveland isn't as funny anymore... Or he really never was... Family Guy hasn't healed me... Not at all, not one bit... No matter how many DVD'S I buy, or how many sleepless nights I spend to watch the 11pm reruns at 3am... I'm still this broken me... Still a hallow shell... Shattered... No glue could fix me... I'm basically trash... Family Guy, you can't even make me laugh anymore... And it's sad.


Really? No I'm just fucking bored out of my mind writing anything to sound like a sad sack of shit and it works. lol, Family Guy rocks BTW.

Move on....

I don't know what to say anymore...
My words fall on deaf ears...
Mostly my own deaf ears...
They never make it out of thought...
Forever trapped....
SAY SOMETHING!
SAY SOMETHING!
SAY SOMETHING!
SAY ANYTHING!
I'm just crazy...
Or so I say, because that would just be so...
easy...
Don't you think?
Yes... Oh yes you do...

Penis vs Vagina

Perhaps Male Vs Female would have been better... Yet it wouldn't have gotten much attention, now would it. Not a question, but a statement.

Now here is where I'm coming from. I head that male nurses get paid more on starting out. Why? Because being a nurse has been filled by Females for a long time. So the insentive to get more money for a male should entice any red blooded, meat eating man into getting into that field. Well, perhaps. But it isn't fair. That's like saying "Hey guys, we need a woman in this office space. SOOOO Let's give her ASSISTANT GM immediately." And then you hire someone who has no desire to get their job done, but they wanted the title and PAY that comes with it. WOW!

Anyway I know someone who started out in a job that was shitty, her hours sucked and she wasn't paid enough to do everything that WASN'T on her job description. She got promoted and it was BETTER. But the thing was, for weeks they couldn't find a replacement for her old job. And well a long story short, some dude walks in looking for a job, and the main woman in charge of handing someone that job got wet in a particular place and said in a high pitched squeel "YOU'VE GOT THE JOB!" SO she ajusted her skirt, fanned herself off and hired a deadbeat who doesn't even do half the job the original person in that position did. He is basically eye candy and he gets to sit on youtube, myspace, facebook, whatever he wants and not do his job and collect a paycheck every 2 weeks. Damn, and all because he's a decent looking guy. Whereas the first person there was a woman, she was treated, somewhat shitty. I mean she ran errands that weren't for the company, she checked peoples personal mail, deposited their checks, walked their dogs and washed their cars... Hell I don't know what all she did, I'm just adding things on so you ge tmy fucking point. She was a WOMAN and this new guy is a fucking dude doing nothing and collecting money off his looks. WOW. What a fucking society we live in.

Tim doesn't Heal everything....

Life & Times of Tim. I've watched you pretend to be Latino. I supported you even through your botched speach in Spanish. I watched you grow a beard, get dumped, shave and reveal you gained a few pounds in your face. I watched a hobo nearly come through and steal your job. I saw Amy take you back. I saw a coked out stripper that looked like Amy - though she was Amee with 2 E's and 2 double D's - try to get with you. I saw you lose your job, try to become a writer adn kill someone who inspired you for one day.

You have not healed my life Tim. You are an asshole with your monotone voice.

CKY "The Way You Lived"

There's 10,000 reasons to survive
But you only needed one to die
It's too late to change what you've become
I won't always be this lonely

The way you lived your life, it mezmerizes me
Now won't you take some time to cast out your regrets
Why did you leave our lives, it mezmerizes me
So won't you take the time to cast out your regrets

I hear the creaking through the door
I see you slipping through the floor
It's not easy, asking you to leave
'cause you'll always be the only

The way you lived your life, it mezmerizes me
Now won't you take some time to cast out your regrets
Why did you leave our lives, it mezmerizes me
So won't you take the time to cast out your regrets

The way you lived your life, it mezmerizes me
Now won't you take some time to cast out your regrets
Why did you leave our lives, it mezmerizes me
So won't you take the time to cast out your regrets

TXT Message: F.O.C.U.S.

Fuck Off Cause UR Stupid.

That there was the best txt message I ever got. lol

Well I will fuck off, not because I am stupid. But because as much as you'd love to imagine that you're funny... You're not, but I can't txt back. So read my fucking blog, post a comment or just go and read a book for once. Miserable cunt.

Oh and I say CUNT, not to offend you. Just because it's your favorite word.

Another Version of The Truth...

I don't even care these days to write how I "feel" anymore...
This world does in fact reject me...
But first it chews me up, spits me out and then brings the boots right over and stomps the rest of me out...
I'm done... Fucking done.

TRUTH Burns Bright.

To those who will say "imitation is suicide."
The saying is 'Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.'
So to those that believe the former, the consumer is the reason for the product.
They believe in it, they live it, they buy it.
Without them, your product would be collecting dust somewhere in a dark room.

How about trying on the truth?

Edgar Allan Poe

All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry.

Another Know It All...

Some people hear you, but never quite listen. You can waste your breath and time by talking to them. Yet they BELIEVE they already know everything. So anything you say that is fact or is helpful, they just don’t care. They’ve heard it all before and KNOW what they are doing. These type of people, we don’t need in our lives. Because they’ll come to you when it doesn’t work out and pretend to care how you feel. All the while they whine, cry and complain about nothing and everything all at once, leaving you silent and intent on listening… Or intent with pulling your hair out. Either way, it’s never a good mix for anyone when these types of people come around. Because when they come around, it’s only to feel better that they got it off their chests. So they come, they go, they come back again and leave you emptier then before.

teamsharkwater on twitter says...

Lead, Follow or step aside. Together we can stop shark finning and save humanity!

FUCK IT!

PULL THE CORD, WRAP THE FUCKING THING AROUND MY NECK... AND LET'S ALL SAY GOODBYE TO THE BIGGEST JOKE YOU KNOW... ME! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA, LET'S ALL HAVE A LAUGH! It is, by any means great for the soul. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mood: Irony
Status: Single? & Bored to Death

Riddle me this, Riddle me that...

I wish I “didn’t” care like you say I do…
Because I care too much what you think…
I wish I was this cold-dead being that you think I am…
I’m not and it kills me that you’d believe I am so cold…
Yet in life you seek out the little things in people that you want them to be…
I might not care during most times…
Yet I do “feel” and I do “Love“…
I guess just not in the way you do…
Or is it the other way around? We may never know…
Because you speak in riddles and rhymes…
Always giving me questions and tasks to live up to…
And expect me to fail, yet when I do…
You want to scream at yourself and wonder what all this time means…
I can’t answer you…
Because every time I begin to believe I‘ve got the answers…
You change the questions…

Those Who Live In Glass Houses...

Shouldn't walk around naked... Or at the very least throw stones. Yet they will. They cast them all out upon the world and expect nothing to happen in return.

So while you sit in your glass house throwing stones at me and my broken home. I just hope that gives you some little satisfaction. Because you really do deserve to be happy. Even if you cannot do that for youself. You deserve some shred of dignity to be HAPPY. To be yourself would be better... But we both know that isn't going to happen any time soon... Now is it?

HA! I wish you could see just how petty you really are. I'd pitty you, but that would jsut be too much for me to even care. I could just be happy for you, because it takes nothing to show a smile and give off a snappy comment like "Nice shoes, douchebag." But even that I'm not capable of, because... Well... DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK?

D.I.L.L.G.A.F!?

Never wait for people to come around... If they're down, they'll always be down. No need for the fakes and phonies to come around and stink up your life... TRUTH!

Stereotypes that Destroy Society

Let me take another crack at this. So you're a pot loving wannabe hippie. What is your biggest and best trait? OOOOOOOOOH RIGHT, you listen to one Bob Marley song and watch Spongebob reruns all fucking day long. You believe that Jerry Garcia isn't dead and that John Lennon faked his death to live out his life as a normal man amongst society.

Well the sad thing is, you're wasting your life away sitting on your moms couch eatching stale potato chips and drinking tap water, cause you don't want to give one single red cent to a company that puts it in a bottle for you cause BOTTLES ARE BAD! Well no shit they are. Yet they've single handedly made life easier and yet we have to pay almost more for a bottle water then we do for television service. So you've got one thing right. Why buy water when it's already in your home for FUCKING FREE... Oh wait, wait, wait, wait a fucking minute... No it isn't. You have to pay the city to get that water, every month you get a bill, you pay it and YOU GET WATER! WTF! There is seriously something wrong here. But hell you're style is, and only to yourself IMPECCABLE. SO GIVE YOURSELF A FREE LOVING HUG, MASTERBATE ON A FLOWER AND EAT SOME SHROOMS YOU CRAZY SMELLY MOFO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh and let me think again, metal heads... What's that about?

EMO KIDS, WTF! Do you all need shock therapy? Seriously your life isn't that fucking bad. Oh so you're uncle put his ting-ting in your ping-ping, get over it already. Write a decent song that doesn't have to do with slitting your wrists, stabbing your eyes out, heartbreak that isn't real, your dad hating you growing up, your mom not being there, your frist period and YOU'RE A GUY and honestly, HONESTLY, Boys cheer up cause your makeup is running.

Jesus Freaks. Now I love Jesus just as much as you do. But I don't go around knocking on peoples doors proclaiming that they are scum if they do not do as you are. You're not better than us, so get over it.

Mormons, read the above and we're all good cause I don't feel like typing that again or just being a lazy bastard and using copy+paste.

Rappers/Hip-Hoppers, whatever you want to be called. I seriously and honestly just don't give a fuck. And please for the love of GOD (see I care about Him too) PLEASE STOP WRITING LYRICS ABOUT WOMAN IN WAYS THAT IS JUST DISGRACEFUL, Stop talking about drugs and alcohol, unless you own you're own brand of liquor then be my guest and highlight that in your music. But seriously, it's time to give something positive to the world. Even if you are just releasing your aggressions, you could do it in a more vague manner... Which would be POETIC.

Reading...

trying to catch up on reading. So I convinced my dad to buy me The Catcher in The RYE. LOL.

I don't even know if I can finish this book. It's just so weird at this moment.


I'll just keep going with the motions and see where I end up.

Top 5 Actors/Actresses I can’t Stand…

This is in no particular order, however Miss #1 is #1 on my official ranking system.

1. Sarah Michelle Gellar: Why? Because apparently in every movie she is a part of she is young, intelligent and disturbed. Much like her character in The Grudge movies and then that one where she has memories from being a child and whatnot and then a movie I wanted to watch because the cover art looked fucking dope… I ended up not watching it just yet because she is in the movie. FUCKING LAME OF ME. I KNOW. I KNOW. I should just get over it and fucking watch Possession.

2. Vince Vaughn: Now to say I can’t stand him in the same sentence that states he is my favorite actor also… Is just fucking ironic. Why I can’t stand him really is because he rambles on and on about random and stupid shit that doesn’t make sense yet you’re led to believe it does and has something to do completely with the story of the movie at hand and the “story” it’s trying to tell… Or in this case, pretty much the way I just went off rambling randomly about Mr. Vaughn.

3. Morgan Freeman: Why? Simply because he is annoying being the same MF’R in every movie he does. He’s the kind hearted older black male that befriends or takes someone under his wing. The only movie where he isn’t this particular character is Batman with Christian Bale. Yet that’s like a diet or lite version of his “main” character in movies. However I admit, Mr. Freeman is a damn good actor. PLEASE SOMEONE IN HOLLYWOOD, GET HIM TO DO A DIFFERENT ROLE!

4. Nicholas Cage: Why? Read Morgan Freeman and change the name and forget the Batman thing and and and and and and and and well, I can’t think of anything else he’s just plain boring.

5. Hell get yourself a color crayon and fill this section in for yourself.