Now everything inside my life’s become a mystery
And all the things that I’ve held dear have lost reality
I cannot go I do not know if you are really here
Just let me know
I need a friend to depend on
I need so much more
Another reason to live my life is knocking on my door
I need to know if I can go
All the way down and back again
I need to know if I can take another leap of faith today
Someone tell me so I can figure it out
Something’s wrong nothing’s right
My life is filled with doubt
Lost the only really thing I’ve ever known
Lost it all and now my hope is gone
I need a friend to depend on
I need so much more
Another reason to live my life is knocking on my door
I need to know if I can go
All the way down and back again
I need to know if I can take another leap of faith today
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Random THOUGHTS at 2.A.M.
"We Walk Alone, In The Unknown. We Live To Win Another Victory. We Are The Young, Dying Sons. We Live To Change The Face of History. - Don't Be Afraid, It's The Price We Pay. The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday." - 12 Stones 'We Are One'
I have no one to walk alone with. I'm on my own. Standing against a crowd of faceless people. Those faceless many are called Family. Cowards that'll stab you in the spine and laugh in your face about it. I'd like to think that when I'm dead and gone, that everything will be better... IT WONT. If Heaven is really how it's explained to us as children, then I'll just be sent to a place where all of them are. Waiting with knives like vultures ready for the fresh kill. Tired of the same old taste they've become accustomed too.
If I had the chance to face all my demons, I would love to imagine that I'd be the last one standing. Conquering every lie I've said, overcoming every picture I've painted and drawn to make it real who I want you to believe I am. However I just think that mountain is too big and every cave there is filled with something ready to devour every part of me that isn't already there.
If I could I'd smoke a pack of cigarettes now and drink a gallon of coffee and hope that my medical problems didn't exist. I understand all too well that I do this to myself. I'm aware that nothing I think I should do matters, until I WANT to do something differently. I understand all too well that I'm the only one that can change the things that I hate. Which is funny, because all the things I hate I've surrounded myself with.
I sometimes drift off into thoughts and daydreams. All lies that only get me through the day that I dread. TODAY! Tomorrow. Next week and next year. It's all the same to me. Just one big blur of something called time. Which doesn't exist. It's only a word used for brain control propaganda. Am I insane? Probably. However your normalcy is fleeting and my insanity is forever.
Why do I believe that? It's really simple. REALLY! It's because, My insanity knows no bounds. I'm stuck with this gift you call a curse. I'm perfectly fine hearing voices and seeing things that you can't or don't understand. Or possibly it's just that your educated mind isn't what you'd imagined it should be.
However I'll get off the subject that is YOU and get onto my final words. Hopefully of wisdom or just full of shit. You decide that for yourself and hell, for me as well.
If you get baked, you destroy your mind, If you get drunk, you kill yourself slowly. I don't do the former, but the latter... And yes, I do enjoy it. I enjoy the fact that I kill myself... Slowly.
I have no one to walk alone with. I'm on my own. Standing against a crowd of faceless people. Those faceless many are called Family. Cowards that'll stab you in the spine and laugh in your face about it. I'd like to think that when I'm dead and gone, that everything will be better... IT WONT. If Heaven is really how it's explained to us as children, then I'll just be sent to a place where all of them are. Waiting with knives like vultures ready for the fresh kill. Tired of the same old taste they've become accustomed too.
If I had the chance to face all my demons, I would love to imagine that I'd be the last one standing. Conquering every lie I've said, overcoming every picture I've painted and drawn to make it real who I want you to believe I am. However I just think that mountain is too big and every cave there is filled with something ready to devour every part of me that isn't already there.
If I could I'd smoke a pack of cigarettes now and drink a gallon of coffee and hope that my medical problems didn't exist. I understand all too well that I do this to myself. I'm aware that nothing I think I should do matters, until I WANT to do something differently. I understand all too well that I'm the only one that can change the things that I hate. Which is funny, because all the things I hate I've surrounded myself with.
I sometimes drift off into thoughts and daydreams. All lies that only get me through the day that I dread. TODAY! Tomorrow. Next week and next year. It's all the same to me. Just one big blur of something called time. Which doesn't exist. It's only a word used for brain control propaganda. Am I insane? Probably. However your normalcy is fleeting and my insanity is forever.
Why do I believe that? It's really simple. REALLY! It's because, My insanity knows no bounds. I'm stuck with this gift you call a curse. I'm perfectly fine hearing voices and seeing things that you can't or don't understand. Or possibly it's just that your educated mind isn't what you'd imagined it should be.
However I'll get off the subject that is YOU and get onto my final words. Hopefully of wisdom or just full of shit. You decide that for yourself and hell, for me as well.
If you get baked, you destroy your mind, If you get drunk, you kill yourself slowly. I don't do the former, but the latter... And yes, I do enjoy it. I enjoy the fact that I kill myself... Slowly.
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